Updated: Sep 26, 2019
I learned this lesson the hard way. I use to exhaust my time trying to "fix" other people until I realized that it was actually a dark shadow of mine. Dark shadow = a positive trait that is manifesting in a negative way.
My problem was that I felt valued dealing with such drama. I liked "fixing" people and being the solution to their problems. I felt needed by those who used, mistreated and abused me. My ego needed that and I suffered under the mask of being "helpful". Before long, I made myself a victim and didn't understand why the pattern kept repeating. I often thought "I'm a good person, why do I always get the short end of the stick?"
I went silent....
I started looking at my own patterns and analyzing my inner beliefs. Why do I get the short end of the stick? Why is this MY experience? Why am I always working so hard for others and end up resenting it? Why do I attract toxic people into my life? Why do I agree to do things that I really don't want to do and then regret it?
Well, it wasn't people! It was ME & MY EGO! I was the one creating these negative life experiences for myself. I'm ashamed to say it but my ego was fed from people needing what I had. My self esteem was wrapped up in what I had to give. Ah ha! That was the problem! I was inauthentic in my be-ing.
I attract what I am...
I finally understood HOW I was attracting what I was. How my EGO was a magnet attracting on my behalf. It needed to be fed! I had wanted to be needed and valued AND I attracted people who only came for what they needed and only valued me for what I could give. That didn't feel good to me and it made me sad.
It was a painful discovery about myself and a very big lesson that changed my life. For sure, pain is a catalyst for change!
It forced me to work on my inner self & seek understanding of what was going on IN MY MIND. Find out where I had erroneously placed the value of myself.
Over a period of time, I turned my negative "dark shadow" around into a positive trait. Yes, I still enjoy helping people. I enjoy being a support system to many. I love serving! It's a blessing to be needed ...and I do it now from a place of LOVE. Love for myself and love for others. Not from a place of proving, validating myself or feeding my ego = exhaustion. It FEELS better now to me. No more getting the short end of the stick. I now attract different people into my life and repel users and abusers. That's how life works... energetic attraction and the power of the mind.
Most times we are doing the right thing but from the wrong mindset. 🙏
I am a Spiritual Life Coach. I help people recognize their negative patterns and do the INNER WORK to improve their life experiences using the same methods that I used to change my own life! We go deep down into the root and pull up everything that isn't serving their highest good. I help people give themselves space to grow, to unlearn and relearn a better way. I help people release hurt and pick up blessings. I teach people how to love themselves and not hate the experiences that shaped them.
Whew that's alot.... and we do it one day at a time. I love you.💙
If you are READY to do the work to change your life, go to my website www.amandajohnson.love and fill out the contact form for a free initial coaching consultation.
I would love to support you on your journey to self-love, happiness and overall well being. It's time for renewal of the mind! A fresh start, let's do it.
"Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2a
- Amanda Johnson 💙💙💙
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